Take Two Tablespoons (of Love) and Call Me in the Morning

By Patrick Hawthorne


Are you feeling tired, run down, listless?  Has your self-esteem taken a back seat to self-criticism?  Has your social status gone from bold to boring? If so, I have a truly amazing all-time special offer for the first one-hundred trillion billion callers.  It is the amazing, stupendous…and truly awesome… better picker upper called, “Love.”

Yes, you heard it right here.  “Love” is the awesome old product that has been specifically formulated by its designer to give life to even the most despicable of characters.  Patented before patent offices were ever conceived, “Love,” was created using a special blend of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

How does it work?  Let’s take a moment and hear from promoter and friend of the Creator of this special product, Brother John.

“My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

21-24 And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.” (1 John 3:18-24 Msg)

There you have it, folks.  By taking just two tablespoons of “Love” a day you will not only cure the ole, “Woe is me,” but will astound your family, friends, and neighbors with the new confident YOU.   One trillion out of one hundred doctors agree on the potency of “Love.”

Order now and you will instantaneously receive your first dose of “Love.” But wait! There’s more!  Order “Love” today and you will receive the deep and abiding presence of the Creator, Almighty God, who is not only the CEO and founder of “Love,” but IS “Love.” Hurry!  Standby recipients are desperately awaiting your call.  Be blessed.


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Posted in Christian, depression, teaching, writing
7 comments on “Take Two Tablespoons (of Love) and Call Me in the Morning
  1. Ha! Awesome and well said. A spoonful of sugar, sings Mary poppins, but in this case just a tiny drop of grace can be the cure for all that ails you.


  2. SLIMJIM says:

    Witty. But seriously, love, and the love of God is what we need. His love is a buy none, get one free deal.


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