I Have Decided

By Patrick Hawthorne

decidedMany years ago, I listened to a song by Amy Grant, I Have Decided.  At the time I did not think too much of the lyrics.  Yes, it had a catchy beat and a wonderful message behind it, but I did not think too seriously about what she was singing.

I have decided

I’m gonna live like a believer

Turn my back on the deceiver,

I’m gonna live what I believe.

How many times had I sung that song without really understanding just what it was that I was declaring?  I’m going to live like a believer.  Had I truly been living like a believer or was I simply adorning myself with a religious cloak that gave the appearance of a believer?  Time went by and I all but forgot about the song. However, one particular morning, I awoke and the first thought on my mind was, “I have decided.”

The Lord speaks to me quite often through dreams or in the early morning hours when my mind has settled down and is open to His still small voice.  Immediately I began to sing along with Amy based on a tune from the depths of my memory. Although I knew the Lord was speaking to me, I was uncertain of the path He was leading me.

Having no way to pursue the Holy Spirit inspired  thought, I placed it on the back burner of my mind and let it simmer until such time as the Holy Spirit made known to me the intent of His message.  I did not have to wait long.  Several days later I was having one of those days where I knew that the devil was pushing as many of my buttons as he could to see which one would make me snap.  It was as if he knew exactly which old dead song it took to make me dance and then he would play the record over and over again.

At first, I wanted to jump aboard the pity wagon and whine to the Lord about the “mean ole devils” abuse of me.   But then, the words, “I have decided” rose up within my spirit.  At that point I declared, “No, devil!  I have decided I’m going to live like a believer.  I’m not going down this road any longer.  I have chosen a new path, a new way, and I refuse to allow you to dictate my behavior.  In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you to back off.  I truly repent for allowing myself to be snared by your same old trap.  Today is a brand new day and I have a new song to dance to.”  At that point I turned my back on the deceiver and declared, “I’m gonna live what I believe.”

[1] Amy Grant ,  Age to Age (1982) Myrrh Records

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Posted in Christian, writing
2 comments on “I Have Decided
  1. dad says:

    Proud of you son


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