By Terri Pease
When I first began to pray about going on this trip I had a lot of questions. Israel was at war, again. Was a trip really worth the risk? After all, I still had a husband and two young sons who needed me at home. Was this just my fleshly desire for adventure? Sifting through all the fears and doubts one particular question surfaced above the others. “Father, will I make a difference?” His answer to me at first left me stunned! In the small quiet voice I heard, “No.” What?! I won’t make a difference? Then why in the world am I going? After I closed my rambling mouth and became quiet once again I heard the Father speak once more. “You won’t make a difference but I will through you.” A quiet settling overcame me. After all hadn’t that been my prayer? Lord, use me. Make my hands yours, my feet yours, my mouth yours. May I speak what you speak, go where You want me to go, do and be what You want me to do and be. Shine where You want me to shine.
Seven weeks, I had committed to seven weeks in the Negev Desert. I was going to get on a plane and travel to a foreign country where I didn’t know the language and stay with people I didn’t know. I had met the director of the ministry I was serving once two years before on a short mission’s trip. She would be the only person I remotely knew there. I was going without my husband and partner. To say I was scared is an understatement. My best friend once described me as brave. No, not brave at all. However, I did have a Word from God. He said He would make a difference through me. I had to be there, the place called there. The place where God needed me to be.
The devil tried to stop my trip. Two weeks before I was to leave my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. I flew home to Louisiana to be with her and my father for a short ten days. While there I re-connected with my brothers and their families. (Another story, another time) I planted “seeds of grace” deliberately just to give the devil a black eye for messing with me! My mother had cancer surgery 4 days before I left for Israel. God brought her through and she has recovered nicely. The doctor’s might have got all of the cancer but the Great Physician healed her body!
I had to spend about $300.00 I had set aside for Israel in order to be with my mom. I told the Lord, “Your mission, Your dime.” I asked Him to restore those finances. I told no one but the Lord of the short fall. Two days before I left on the trip an unexpected check arrived in the mail for $200.00! My niece-in-law’s aunt, whom I had just shared briefly about Israel, sent a check from her ladies club to bless Israel. Then a sweet couple whom we know gave me a check for $100.00. Three hundred dollars! His mission, His dime.
Now then, I am an Ambassador for Christ (God’s representative) as though God is pleading through me – I am His hands, His feet, His mouth….
I have been crucified with Christ: it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. And the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, Who loves me and gave Himself for me.
The will of God will never take me where the Grace of God will not protect me.
Will I make a difference? No, but He will through me……